had a really nice evening with my family. my nephew and I made a pillow fort in the living room. he read and I worked on this website a bit. I showed him the different slides in the gallery and the descriptions I already wrote. he got really excited about lambrusco because he remembered seeing him in my room.
him, my sister, our mom and I are all going to a contemporary art museum tomorrow. might add a corner for awesome websites on neocities at some point.
in the background during the evening: trouble by cage the elephant.
I tried to tell him about the woman who drew the line throughout the museum. about the small lump of clay I held in my hands. I wanted to tell him about this moment.
"that's not art," he said, then sent an image of michelangelo's david. "that's art".
I pursed my lips. "what about things less aesthetic?" I wrote back. "what about them?"
he never quite understood why I'm searching for the ugly, the imperfect, in art. why I search for the right words to express ugly feelings. why I rip my flesh apart every time I read or look at things. I don't create. I can't.
I'm looking for my pectus excavatum. for my scoliosis. for my TMD. for my PSVT. for my crooked teeth. for my bell's palsy. I'm looking for my autism and my transness. I can never find them in the aesthetic. I'm not the things he appreciates. and yet he stays.
found an old and crusty minit system I forgot to return to my university and started playing with it. didn't really need it when studying organic chemistry so all the pieces are stuck together and tough from disuse, but it's kinda fun!
been to an interesting lecture on philip k. dick's writing. the lecturer brought up ubik, foster, you're dead! and martian time-slip as a few examples. he talked about humanity, empathy and reality in his works and about the innate and competing fears of being controlled by corporations and governments and of understading we humans have no control over anything at all.
currently reading up on the role of GM130 in nervous system diseases. it was one of the proteins we immunolabeled in the lab and editing the photos for the gallery made me research it again.
RT-PCR protocol from my last lab & a doodle. my notebooks are filed with those
why yes, I did upgrade only to be able to upload audio for boop & lambrusco, why do you ask?
got my cell biology lab report back. the instructor attached a note to the grade. she wrote about the presentation I gave in class on treatment advancements in progeria & said it's hard to believe I'm only an undergrad student, that my love for science is noticeable. she also said to come see her when looking for a lab later on!
gel image of an RT-PCR result of 6 genes - GAPDH, HPRT1, UBC, RPII, SDHA & ALAS1 in SH-SY5Y cells.
just listened to what's up? by 4 non blondes on a random site I found here. it's still dark outside. everything is quiet and as the song played I felt alone in a good way.
I'm kinda jealous of the cool sites people have here. I'm not that creative. but maybe I just need time to curate things and find what works for me.